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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_danger-124124-married-women-don39t-do-this-mistake-with-mangalsutra-124124-must-watch-124124-sadhguru-124124-mow.webp "Mystic Of World (Fan Channel)")
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_is-it-mandatory-for-married-women-to-wear-wearing-mangalsutra39-all-the-time.webp "Up-to-date")
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_arti-singh-made-first-public-appearance-after-her-marriage-to-dipak-chauhan.webp "TV actress Aarti Singh, known for her extensive experience in the industry and her ongoing role in \")
_warning-after-having-physical-relationship-don39t-forget-to-do-this-things-124124-sadhguru-124124-mow.webp "Mystic Of World (Fan Channel)")
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_sadhguru-jv-why-married-lady-in-india-wear-a-mangalsutra.webp "Sadhguru JV")
_american-businessman-warren-buffett39s-advice-on-investments.webp "Warren Buffett, the chairman of Berkshire Hathaway (BRK.A), is the most successful investor of our time. His daughter, Susan, worked as my assistant when I was the publisher of a magazine 40 years ago. Just before she got married, Susie told me she worried that her fiancé’s parents had bought a couple of shares of Berkshire stock — and what if it tanked? At the time, the price was about $1,000 a share. Today, it’s $507,000 a share. I hope the in-laws hung on.")
_why-a-married-women-must-wear-mangalsutra-124-can-women-remove-their-mangalsutra-while-sleeping.webp "BHAKTHI")
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_gold-mangalsutra-designs-for-married-women-in-14k-18-22k.webp "Dishis DesignerJewellery")
_angeline-quinto-and-nonrev-daquina-finally-exchanged-vows-124-pep-shorts.webp "Angeline Quinto and her longtime boyfriend Nonrev Daquina finally exchanged vows at Quiapo Church in Manila, Thursday, April 25, 2024, marking the beginning of their married life.<br/><br/>#AngelineQuinto #AngelineQuintoWedding #QuiapoChurch <br/><br/>Photos: Georis Tuca<br/><br/>Subscribe to our YouTube channel! https://www.youtube.com/@pep_tv<br/><br/>Know the latest in showbiz at http://www.pep.ph<br/><br/>Follow us! <br/>Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pepalerts/ <br/>Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PEPalerts <br/>Twitter: https://twitter.com/pepalerts<br/><br/>Visit our DailyMotion channel! https://www.dailymotion.com/PEPalerts<br/><br/>Join us on Viber: https://bit.ly/PEPonViber<br/><br/>Watch us on Kumu: pep.ph")
_sadhguru-wedding-symbols-why-should-married-women-wear.webp "Spiritual Yogi")
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